This will be a very personal (and very emo) entry…
Officially, my internship problems ended this morning. It was a great relief. Somehow I know for a fact that I will have something stable now.
Everyone has been kind to me, they are all kind to me. But I’ll admit that I cannot help but feel sad… Very sad…
If I want to be happy, I have to make it happen myself…
I’ll try my best… to always make every day fulfilling…
to erase the loneliness…
I totally need to go on a diet.
I will seriously start tomorrow.
Seriously.
I swear.
I need to say goodbye first to my daily dose of Starbucks. Goodbye Dark Raspberry Frappe. Goodbye Coffee Jelly Frappe. Goodbye Strawberries & cream frappe.
And even to the fruit shakes and taro shakes…
And the luscious cakes: Raspberry Cheesecake and Oreo Cheesecake.
And cut down on carbs. And sweets.
… because I feel so awful. :c And admittedly, so… not beautiful. *sniffles*
I also need a haircut. I want my bangs back. I feel so normal-bland without it. And a hair treatment… a intensive conditioning and my yearly rebond.
I need them. I neeeeed.
*sigh*
I need serious pampering and makeover! But I don’t know when because crapload of thingies are taking over my life =.=
I want to travel and then party, go shopping and laze around~ and think of really happy thoughts and keep beautiful memories. It would be a pure bliss…
So faaarrrr….
*sob*
I’m finally getting around Poupee!
I found out that to have more ribbons, I have to put up pictures. And it was really great because I have this addiction of taking pictures of cute stuffs! 
Totally lovely, right? So I’m gonna take many photos starting today (I just did!) so I’ll have more clothes and ribbons…
I really want to prettify my Poupee!
~So yeah! Weekend. ^.^ This morning, I tried to code another multiply theme but I changed my mind about the color scheme so I might make another later. I spent the time playing fashion wars and then poupee.
And then, I’m missing my domain! :c I’m planning to buy a new one. I’m thinking of buying..
It’s like my signature name. XD I’m thinking of really making it personal with pictures and stuff, like this tumblr theme… but at the same time, I want to use a new nickname. I might get one before school starts ;)
I want to thank ate Jays for sharing to us these really cute emoticons! I love them! ^.~
First week in one of the country’s biggest networks ended. I ate lunch alone during the first day. Thank God for Starbucks, where being alone doesn’t feel lonely.
I cannot wait anymore for that day…
Long weeks have passed. And I thought that everything will be settled now. But it didn’t get any better.
I was hoping for a sunnier tomorrow but then I was still locked up in yesterday’s mistakes.
Yes, I admit that I made a very wrong decision. And I have been dealing with it, facing it with so much optimism even if I know what’s inside me, I’m giving up. I’m giving it up.
I never felt so wrong in my entire life even when all I did was to desperately make everything right.
I have spent so much tears already… It’s emotionally more tormenting than physically being tiring… I do not want to go on with this anymore. Maybe it wasn’t really meant for me at this time because from Day 1 every thing has been so wrong…
After giving it so much thought (insomia till 5am, tears until you can’t breathe)
Maybe of all the decisions I made just to hold on and push through…
Letting go will make everything right…
The only thing that made me happy at the end of a long day…
I fished out the strawberries and the peaches afterwards to save for another long week…
“Fuck.” —
This is the first time in my entire life that I cried so hard I can’t actually breathe.
A little more and I’m letting go.
Oh my gosh !!! I super can’t believe it !!!
Everything’s falling into their right places !!! My internship life started in a whirl wind then storm then sunshine. Corny as it sounds.
I have learned so much from this emotional ride and I believe it made me grow. There were lots of realizations… and I’m not regretting anymore.
I’ve come this far and I’m gonna give this my best shot! I do not know what awaits me tomorrow, I am nervous but very much excited!
Finally, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and I’m ready for everything that may happen and I’m so gonna give my 100% everytime.
As my friend would say, savor the thrill.
And I will always keep in mind my personal learnings from IJ class:
Be assertive in the right place, in the right time for the right reasons.
And then during the OJT talk with the seniors:
Pa-bibo ka dapat!
I’ve always been too shy to speak out for myself and then theater happened. Heavy’s right when she told me that it happened for a reason. And it has changed me a lot.
And then this came. Another challenge to take on and this time, I will be alone. This happened for a reason and I’m going to make the most out of it.
A continuation of the test on independence, confidence and everything masscomm in a different level.
I’m keeping a positive mind, a positive outlook!
This happened for a reason, and this, I believe, is a blessing. I promise I’m gonna give my best for myself, for all the people who have been a part of this crazy story. ;)
It became crazier now! But in a good way. I can do this…
Ajaaaaa !!!
*edits* KINAKABAHAN AKOOOOOO. NG SOBRA SOBRAAAA. AS IN. IT’S QUARTER TO 9 (PM) AND BUKAS PA PASOK KO PERO KINAKABAHAN NA KOOOOOOO. MY GOSSSHH.
Tomorrow.
I do not know what will happen tomorrow.
I can not run from this anymore. I have to face it. Take it all in. All the consequences of my actions. Everything.
I received a quote that said…
You’ll never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice that you have.
I have to be strong.
I am … Nervous. Excited. Uncertain. Afraid.
This week will make or break my internship life. Everything in it. Every bit of it.
But I will pray for the best.
Jelly Belly ~ My new favorite!
